My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
