the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
