random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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