Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
