dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
