I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
