She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
