I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
