if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
