i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
