True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize