I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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