im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
