My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
