I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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