I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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