I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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