Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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