Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
