He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
