If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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