Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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