You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize