We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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