the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What a dumb baby whore.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
