After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you inspire me to be a worse person
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
