I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize