Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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