Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
