You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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