These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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