Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize