would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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