How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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