I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
