Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
