Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
