do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize