Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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