break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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