shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
