do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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