MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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