just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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