The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
