I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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