at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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