Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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