No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
