I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
