some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This baby is an asshole
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
MIDGETS
????
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
