Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
