I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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