lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
