seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
