i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So here I am, sexting at work.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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