Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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