i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
