therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
