New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
