They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
