you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
