The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
